My Top 5 Weirdest Beauty Rituals

Have you ever been so in your own head that you do something really bizarre around someone because you felt so comfortable you kind of forgot they were there?


OK, so, since I’ve given up dairy, I can’t have cheese (insert sobs here). My new boyfriend (insert cheers here) was kind enough to help me get rid of some leftover American by consuming several slices at a time. He assured me it tasted terrible and that I wasn’t missing out. While sulking in the kitchen, I suddenly remembered I had a dairy-free chocolate ice cream made with coconut milk in the freezer, so naturally, I burst out a guttural Louis Armstrong/Bill Cosby/happy Frenchman sing-song sound, roughly written as “mmm mmm mmm”. This caught the attention of the BF and he laughed out loud witnessing my pure, unhidden joy while I devoured the remaining treat. After we both cracked up, I realized that in my euphoria, I forgot I wasn’t alone! #againstcensorshipofjoy

The pint is, I mean, the POINT is, that we all have weird things we do that become so natural to us that we stop thinking they’re weird. This goes for beauty habits too. Here are my Top 5 Weirdest Beauty Rituals:

5. Must be fully nude while drying my hair

I’m pretty sure this stemmed from realizing that I shed like a golden retriever in summer and my hair will stick to any clothes I’m wearing like Velcro. So, Birthday Suit it is!

4. I have a strict shower sequence

Rinse, Shampoo, Wash, Condition, Shave. If I don’t follow this routine, I feel all out of sorts. It’s been rumored that I get my best ideas in the shower, so it’s likely I’d get in The Zone and forget to do one of the steps if I mixed up the order. So, for everyone’s benefit, and to prevent myself from being the main character in a novel entitled “The Girl with the Unshaven Leg” I’ll stick to what I know.

3. I use 2 mascaras

This isn’t weird, right? You need one “worn in” mascara that’s slightly dryer to create a good volumizing base, and then a “fresh” mascara that’s more liquidy for length. Disclaimer: These can be two separate brands/types or the same

2. I put Chapstick on my eyebrows to “hold” them in place

This often raises some eyebrows. Yep, lip balm is not just for that sassy mouth of yours!

1. I wear vinyl gloves to put on my foundation

This is definitely the one that gets the most quizzical looks. No, I’m not performing a surgery. No, I’m not trying to murder you. No, I’m not conducting a top secret experiment. I just don’t want the stay-forever foundation to get all over my hands and take-forever to wash off. May be my most practical thought I’ve ever had! Probably had it in the shower…

Do you have any unusual beauty habits? Please share to remind me I’m not alone. Not that that would stop me from squealing in delight, apparently…