Under the Southern Sun

“Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn’t actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you’ve promised to cherish till death do you part says “I never loved you,” it should kill you instantly. You shouldn’t have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn’t know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid.” – Frances Mayes, Under the Tuscan Sun

I remember hearing this once and imagining the pain. Then I remember hearing it again and understanding the pain. Then I looked it up to post it and could physically feel the pain. The ending of any relationship you weren’t ready to end should kill you instantly. When people ask how you are, you can’t even begin to describe the way your insides feel. You can’t articulate that you don’t want to stay home but you don’t want to go out, you don’t want to talk about it, but you have to talk about it, you don’t want to be alone, but you don’t want to be with friends. You just want your best friend…

I’m swimming in my current hurt wondering how I survived my previous hurts. Literally thinking, “My God, how did you make it? Tell me, so I can live through this.” And my answer is you have to feel the desire for what you want MORE than you feel the pain of what you don’t have. 

I’ve been listening to TONS of Abraham Hicks on various topics…maybe some include, “How to Get Your Lover Back”…but, in an Abraham way: You’d have to believe they left in order to get them back…which brings me to another story. My mom visited me in the fall and bought me the most unique earrings from a local artisan at our farmer’s market. They both reminded us of my Aunt Cindy who passed away over 20 years ago. Every time I wear them, I think of her, and my mom and the love she has for me. So, 2 weeks ago, I packed them in a bag to wear for the weekend, and when those plans – and what felt like the rest of my life plans – totally fell apart, I lost all consciousness and, as a result, lost the earrings. If I didn’t already have enough to be devastated about, I now added the loss of my mom’s gift to my list. I kept thinking back – I remembered trying to figure out where to put them so they’d be safe while I was traveling and I tried various places before settling on one…which was still unknown to me. I checked all of the pockets of my pants, my purse, my coat, my car, my gym bag, my makeup bag, my work bag, and got excited when I felt something in a small jewelry bag, only to realize it wasn’t them. I’d been listening to Abe to help cope with my relationship status, and kept hearing, “If you keep thinking the relationship is lost, then of course you’ll never find it” and “You have to get into alignment, then the inspiration will come for the next step.” Hmmm…I wondered if I could apply this to the earrings? If I already knew they were there, then I could relax and allow the inspiration to take me to them. One morning at the gym, I was feeling good about my workout, had just taken a relaxing shower, and was getting dressed for work, when suddenly, I remembered there was one pair of jeans that I hadn’t checked. As soon as I got home from my office, I opened the drawer, reached into the pocket…and there were the earrings. I smiled, kissed them, and said knowingly, “I knew you were here somewhere!” You may think that’s silly, but I don’t care. THAT’S how you build your confidence in knowing that you can trust yourself. That’s how you build trust knowing that God and the Universe has exactly who and what you’re looking for, you just have to allow it. God would not have brought you this far to leave you hanging. He loves you too much.

Listen to what YOU know and what YOU feel. You get to love whoever you want! Giving yourself that permission is really wonderful, even if it’s painful. At this point, I can’t begin to imagine seeing any other face besides the face of the one I love. I replay every good thing that ever happened over and over while it feels good, and then stop when it feels bad, cry it out, and then start over. Who cares if I want that good feeling back? If it’s meant to be, then it will come back, and it will be improved, because of what has grown from the situation. If you want a relationship that’s 100%, then you have to let it be 100%. That means loving yourself even when it’s hard, that means someone else even when it’s hard. That might mean that you get hurt, that might mean that you take some time apart, that might mean that you both need to sort out your priorities separately so you can come together stronger. And if it’s not with that person, it will be with another person who is just as wonderful, and if they’re not, then they’re still hiding in the pocket of a pair of jeans.



Y’all Need Jesus

OK, so I know I didn’t post the past 2 weekends, but it’s not because I wasn’t writing. It’s almost like I had too many ideas. But I think the one that stood out to me most was my current experience with God. If you’re about to be like, “Ugh, bor-ing. Not reading…” I promise you, there might be something you find interesting. Or at least chuckle.

I was raised Catholic – I attended the same Catholic grade school AND high school that all 3 of my aunts did. My grandmother goes to Church every day but Sunday. I cried when the water baptized my tiny head. I wore a beautiful white dress at my First Holy Communion. I freaked out debating what sins to disclose while waiting in line for Confession. I rolled my kilt (I chose the “natural-looking” once fold, not twice, which always looked like foul play was involved) I even studied all 132 questions and answers in “The Packet”, in case Cardinal Bevilacqua – who apparently enjoys “buxom blondes” – pointed his staff at me for a response. But yet, something wasn’t vibing.

One of my earliest memories of questioning my faith was after receiving my score on a 3rd grade Religion test. The question was: When the priest consecrates the bread and wine during mass, it is a symbol of Christ’s body and blood. TRUE or FALSE? For those of you that said FALSE – Congratulations! You must have also gone to Catholic school and know that it’s not a symbol, but it actually becomes the body and blood of Christ. For those of you who said TRUE, it’s a symbol – Welcome to Camp Sarah. 24 years later and I’d still answer the exact same way. It will never reconcile with me that because a man whose studied God’s word says a blessing, that bread and wine become flesh and blood. Do I think it’s a beautiful symbol? Yes. Do I think that maybe there’s some miracle stories in the Bible that are true? Probably, but maybe with some exaggeration for emphasis. Do I think that miracles happen today? Of course.

By the time I reached 12th grade, I felt less like a Catholic, but more Christian. I had wonderful teachers who really spread God’s word in a way that teenagers could understand AND apply. If any high-school/college student is reading this and has the chance to go on a Kairos Retreat, GO!! This was one of the most wonderful, unexpected, life-changing spiritual experiences I’ve ever had. I think that’s when I really began to see Jesus as the kind of guy that was right next to me in prayer, rather than far away in a magical cloud. I also had lots of opportunities to implement what I was learning. For example, I signed the Chastity Pledge for Prom Night. It probably helped that I went with friend, not a boyfriend, as handsome as Jimmy was…

In college I was too busy figuring out romantic relationships with men, social relationships with friends, and spatial relationships with furniture to pay attention to my relationship with God. I said small prayers, here and there – “Please don’t let me get caught for underage drinking!”, “Please make this guy kiss me tonight!”, and things of that nature, but that was the extent.

I walked along that path until 2014. When I started my Solo-Journey-of-Becoming-a-Badass that year, I didn’t turn to God the way that most do during a crisis. Maybe because He wasn’t ever in my Top 5 Call List? I don’t know…I just knew He had my back long-term, so in the meantime, I needed something to DO. So, I turned to The Law of Attraction ft. Abraham Hicks *insert album photo*. I could go on for days about how much she helped me (and I have in this post, this post, and this post…) She gave me back some control in a time where I felt powerless. I went to see her live last year, and I continue to listen frequently when I need to calm my mind. So, basically, every day.

Fast forward to 2016 when I met my spirit-friend Abbey, who introduced me to Seacoast Church. I had never felt more welcome in a social place! Everyone there was happy, kind, and…gorgeous. Yeah, let’s stay here. So, when I finally moved to Charleston in 2018, it felt like I was coming home. Seacoast has been an incredible place to meet friends – surprisingly, they’re totally human – they drink, swear, and sleep with their boyfriends *gasp*. But, they also love A LOT. They check in, they encourage spiritual growth, they recommend books, they inspire me to become more involved, and they get me excited to LIVE! It has also been a great avenue to get involved with mentoring teen girls – since I seriously missed teaching my college Interior Design students. If any of you are reading this, I still think of you girls all the time!

Just because I love the feeling that I have while attending services, doesn’t mean I’m totally High on Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve closed my eyes and put my hands up during the worship songs, but I still have my questions. And I think I should! And as I just said aloud yesterday – “If you have questions, it does one of two things – it either strengthens your belief in one thing, or strengthens your belief in another.” Or makes you have more questions…so three things. Or makes you more confused…so four things. Anyway, you get the idea.

The Law of Attraction basically says that you are responsible for everything that happens to you. I can see evidence of that in my life. But, no pun intended, Dear God, thats’s a lot of responsibility! There are times that I can’t do it alone. And I don’t want to do it alone. I’ve really come to find peace in knowing that God has a plan for me, but that I get to figure out how I’m going to get there.

Peace and Love,

The Huntress ❤


Trust Yourself

This past Thursday night, I had the incredible opportunity to attend a conference called TogetherLive. The event featured powerful women speakers, like Love Warrior author, Glennon Doyle (who is just the absolute cutest in-person #obsessed), her wife, Former US Soccer Team Olympian, Abby Wambach (I know, I might have been the ONLY person that didn’t know they were married…), and New York Times bestselling author, Luvvie Ajayi, who you probably know, if you read her blog reviews of Scandal episodes. Click here, if you want to see the full line-up of boss ladies who killed it!

The whole tour focused on “How to live your love story”. This could mean so many things to different people. Mostly, how to live YOUR truth. There were so many incredible words I heard, but I wanted to talk about Glennon Doyle’s words specifically:

“Stop taking other people’s advice. Stop asking people directions to a place they’ve never been.”

Wow. Let that sink in for a minute.

Everyone has well-meaning friends and family who tell you what they would do if they were you. But, they’re NOT you. It’s not their path. It’s not their story. No one, except for YOU can figure out where you need to go, based on where you’ve been, and what you most want for yourself.

Interestingly, I went to see my *GIRL*, Abraham Hicks, a couple weeks ago (incredible!) and one of the questions was from a woman who said she was having a difficult time making decisions as an adult, because her parent’s made all of her decision for her as a child. In true Abe fashion, the solution was:

“Stop listening to other people’s advice. Learn to trust your inner GPS system. That’s why it’s there – to guide YOU.”


To top it off, my 2017 Word of the Year is TRUST. Usually, it takes me a couple of months to really settle in with the word. And this year was exceptionally difficult. But here I am, in November, and I’m finally starting to get it.

And literally, right now, like, real time, as in, I’m writing this and had to go back and edit, because it’s that crazy – I’m watching the new Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath episode, and they keep talking about trust, trust, trust.

I’m not going to lie , “trust” has been the hardest word to implement. Just today, I questioned my own judgement when it came to trusting others. How did I misread the signs? But, I also felt proud of myself for handling the confrontation AND the disappointment clearly, honestly, and true to me. I didn’t ask anyone for advice. I just said what I felt and you know what? It helped get peace out of the situation much quicker. What used to feel like mountains are now barely speed bumps. BAM! There’s the lesson 🙂

Trust yo’selves xoxo

Light and Easy

Hello from Philadelphia!

Since I’ve been home, I’ve been thinking about everything that is important to me. Fostering friendships, laughing, enjoying my work, cultivating important relationships, eating really good food, spending time with family, laughing more, transforming my hair into “Charleston Blonde”, so I can finally be a blonde “Ole” emoji in my group text with my Chucktown Girls, more laughing, and committing to fun in everyday life 🙂


I truly feel like I emerged out of my chrysalis into the most beautiful butterfly. I’m in the best place in my life to give and receive love. I’ve proved to myself many, many times throughout the past few years that everything is possible. “Fierce” is the best way that I can describe the feeling that I have entering my 30s.

In order for me to keep up this momentum (because, let’s face it, life throws you some lemons, even when you’re sipping that lemonade you made from the last ones), I’ve been listening to a TON of Abraham Hicks videos on YouTube. It just makes SO MUCH SENSE!

Everything SHOULD be Light and Easy. Why do we make everything more complicated for ourselves? I have SO many instances where The Universe has provided me exactly what I’ve needed at exactly the right time. So why should now be any different?

If you need some inspiration, then definitely check out the link. It’s brought me so much peace in my time of transition. Everyday, I feel closer to clarity, closer to alignment, and trying to enjoy the growth that comes from experiencing contrast. Abbey and I say, “The vortex is there for you, all you have to do is step in!”

It’s almost time for a new Word of the Year, and I’ve got one that feels like the right choice for 2017. Stay tuned!